Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Gaze This.

My mother, the momma bear, is a boardline hoarder and shopaholic. She has been given one rule: unless she can eat it, she is not allowed to bring anything else into the house.

Well, that lasted exactly 12 hours. She came home from TJMaxx with a gazing ball. A frickin' gazing ball. What are gazing balls good for besides gazing? I'll give you a clue: nothing. And I'm not going to get started about what she was doing in TJMaxx, it's Christmas and the season for forgiveness. And presents.

Moving on. She already had a gazing ball stand, because as you know, what good is a ball without a stand? I can't even believe I'm writing this. She delegated the responsibility of gluing said ball onto said stand to me. No joke. I would have just hot glued the sucker and be done with it.

Not my DF.

He started with contact cement, which can be procured at Target. Now, I have never used contact cement, and quickly tried using its magical wand to repair a Christmas candle holder that got broken sometime in the last decade. As I'm sitting holding the pieces together, DF informed me that it takes a half hour to form a bond. A HALF HOUR. Who has that kind of time? I abandoned Christmas candle holder project and I am fairly certain DF used my glue gun later on to put it back together. What a guy.

Devastatingly Handsome. And handy.

He layered cement on the ball and the stand. I would have glued my fingers together in the process, but he sure makes it look easy. 

There I am.  Having a ball.

Again. Another half hour. This sure is time consuming. I would have just balanced the ball on the stand and hoped for the best. I believe that was the philosophy that got us into that predicament. Momma Bear thought that was an appropriate method of mounting a gazing ball. That gazing ball met it's untimely death, and here we sit. With cement.


Well, surely momma bear will be happy to see the ball cemented to her stand. Hopefully this will provide years of gazing excitement like this:

Lesson learned: if you want something done right, ask DF to do it. 

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