Saturday, January 8, 2011

Friday Night Flunk

Last night I was so excited to come home and go to dinner with DF at our favorite mexican place. I planned on having too much sangria and putting out. (Putting out later in the evening: not at the restaurant. I have some decency people.)

None of that was to transpire.

I left work at 6:15PM. Late for a Friday night. My momma bear calls me and tells me that one of the delivery drivers from her furniture store dropped the company credit card at a customers house. Well, that house happens to be right near my office. Would I be a dear and swing by to pick it up?

Just what I wanted to do! A wild goose chase! Not.

So I find said house, which happened not to be a house, but a mansion that Kimora and Russell Simmons would have shared. Bible. This place was palatial. Cribs worthy. I felt like a poor little pauper rolling up in my 2007 Toyota.

Anyways, Russell Simmons was really nice, gives me the company credit card. And I can finally be on my way home.

It is now 7:00PM.

So I call DF back to tell him I'm flying up the highway home. When he springs on me this: "Babe....I have to work 8-6 both Saturday and Sunday. There isn't anything I can do about it."

Which, naturally, sends me into a fit of hysteria. No weekend with DF at all. Crap on a cracker.

So I came home, picked a big fight with him and he got upset and left the house to go for a walk and cool off. I, being of the female kind, was so pissed that I jumped into my 2007 Toyota and hauled ass away from the house.

I went to momma bear's furniture store to drop off the credit card. Momma introduces me to the offending driver who dropped the card by accident at the customer's house in the first place.

Ok. The only nice way to say this is this: The guy eye-fucked the shit out of me. Then he proceeds to ask about my engagement ring. He says with wide eyes, "Please tell me that's not an engagement ring..."

I said, "It sure is."

And he goes, "Does that thing come off, cause I'd like to take you to dinner tonight."


Who talks like that? I'll admit, I was flattered, but come on. I said, "of course it doesn't come off. And that I don't think my DF would like some random man talking to me like that."

The thing is: the guy was relentless. He walked me back to the front of the store where my mom was finishing up and kept saying ridiculously offending but very funny things.

And then he told my mom I was "delicious." Delicious people. He said that to MY MOM.

Long story short, momma took me out for supper and by the time I got home I was so more than ready to crawl into bed with DF and tell him the whole crazy story. And while he got a little alpha that someone hit on me, we did get a good laugh out of the whole ridiculous night. It was a Friday Night Flunk.

And in the end, I came home to a man who kissed me an apologized and snuggled me and told me he was so lucky I was his.

It's a good thing too...because there is a furniture driver out there who thinks I'm delicious :) HA!

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